What To Do When You See Abuse.

Often, the conversations about abuse are about what to do after you see abuse, or what punishment should happen to the person doing it.

Many of us wonder what we would have done if we were there witnessing the incident.

There often are clear indications that things are heading towards a potentially harmful situation. As an educator I do my best to show kinder ways, but there are things we each can do.

This blog is about what can be done IN THE MOMENT,  when there may be a possibility to de-escalate or turn things around.

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I've written a couple other blogs on this subject. I'll put them here for easy reference:
A Few Ways To Look At Horse Welfare - This blog looks at different ways to assess  situations on a sliding scale
Smoke & Mirrors & Horse Welfare - This blog looks at the psychological reasons why it's so hard to speak out when we see things that look abusive
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In this blog: 

👉 When is it best to speak up
👉 When is it best to report
👉 How to report responsibly
👉 Speak up + Report
👉 'Speaking Into The Field' - a powerful technique

Full disclosure: I consulted ai to write this. The following is a result of my questions to ai, its answers and my further editing of it.

Silence enables abuse.

• Speak up when you see mistreatment
  Calm, respectful confrontation can interrupt harm and plant doubt.
• Report abuse or neglect
  Use local animal welfare organizations or authorities when necessary.
• Advocate for welfare standards
  Support regulations that limit overwork, cruel equipment, and poor living conditions.
• Use your voice online responsibly
  Share information without shaming—shame hardens resistance.

When Speaking Up Is Usually Best

Speaking up is most effective when education or stress reduction can alter the outcome.

Typical scenarios

• A frustrated rider or handler is losing patience
• Poor technique rooted in tradition, not malice
• A one-off escalation
• You have a relationship or shared space (barn, lesson, school)

Why speaking up helps here

• The person may not realize how it looks
• Stress impairs judgment
• A calm interruption can reset the situation

Goal

• Interrupt
• Reduce harm
• Plant awareness

Not to “win.”

When Reporting Is the Better Option

Reporting is necessary when harm is serious, ongoing, or dangerous.

Clear reporting situations

• Physical violence (hitting, whipping excessively, beating)
• Severe neglect (emaciation, lack of water, untreated wounds)
• Chronic abuse (repeated incidents over time)
• Situations where speaking up has failed or made things worse
• When the abuser holds power over you

Why reporting is sometimes the only ethical option

• Speaking up may escalate abuse later, out of sight
• The horse cannot leave
• Patterns don’t change without outside intervention

Important: Reporting Is Not “Overreacting”

This belief keeps abuse hidden.

Reporting is:

• A request for assessment
• A chance for intervention
• Often education before punishment

Most animal welfare agencies aim to correct, not immediately penalize.

How to Report Responsibly (Without Making Things Worse)

1. Document, Don’t Confront

• Dates, times, locations
• Specific behaviors (avoid emotional language)
• Photos or videos only if safe and legal

2. Use Appropriate Channels

Depending on location:

• Animal control
• SPCA / humane society
• Equine welfare organizations
• Barn management or governing bodies (for sports)

3. Be Factual

Instead of:

“They’re abusing their horse”

Say:

“The horse appears underweight with visible ribs, no access to water observed over multiple days, and untreated leg wounds.”

Facts carry weight.

A Middle Option: “Strategic Speaking Up”

Sometimes you do both.

Examples:

• Speak up in the moment to stop harm
• Report later if the pattern continues
• Speak to a supervisor or manager instead of the individual
• Ask a vet, trainer, or welfare officer to intervene

This spreads responsibility and reduces risk.

When NOT to Speak Up Directly

Do not speak up if:

• The person is volatile or aggressive
• You are a minor and the person is in authority
• You’re isolated or outnumbered
• The abuse is clearly intentional and severe

In these cases:
Silence in the moment + reporting later is not cowardice. It’s wisdom.

A Simple Decision Guide

Ask yourself:

1. Is the harm immediate?
2. Can I safely interrupt?
3. Will this likely reduce harm?
4. If not—who can intervene?

If the answer to #2 or #3 is “no” → report.

One Final Reframe

You are not “getting someone in trouble.”

You are:

• Standing in for a voiceless being
• Asking society to uphold basic care standards
• Acting from responsibility, not judgment

That takes courage.

Emotional Aftercare (Often Overlooked)

Witnessing abuse can be upsetting.

• Talk to someone you trust
• Write down what you saw (helps process and remember)
• Remind yourself:
  “I did what I could without causing more harm.”

That matters.

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Speaking Into The Field, (not at a person).

The Three Possible Targets (and Why One Works Best)

1. Saying it “to yourself” (too quiet / internal)

• ❌ Too easy to miss
• ❌ Sounds like muttering if overheard
• ❌ Misses the social signal

This doesn’t reliably plant seeds.

2. Saying it directly to the trainer (too confrontational)

• ❌ Triggers hierarchy and ego
• ❌ Increases likelihood of escalation
• ❌ Trainer may double down because students are watching

This often backfires in warm-up rings.

3. Saying it into the shared space (this is the sweet spot)

• ✔ Audible to nearby students
• ✔ Non-confrontational
• ✔ Sounds reflective, not corrective
• ✔ Allows everyone to save face

This is the intended delivery.

What “Into the Space” Actually Looks Like

• Neutral body orientation (not squared to the trainer)
• Soft volume—clear, not loud
• Calm, reflective tone
• No direct eye contact with the trainer
• Slight pause afterward
• Then you move away or redirect your attention

It feels like a thoughtful observation, not an intervention.

Example in Practice

You’re standing near the rail. The trainer says something like:

“He’s being rude.”

You say calmly, looking toward the horse (not the trainer):

“That looks more like stress than misbehavior.”

Then:

• You stop talking
• You step back
• You don’t explain
• You don’t wait for a response

Students hear it.
The trainer hears it.
No one is directly challenged.

Why This Works Psychologically

• Students are allowed to consider the idea because they weren’t instructed
• Trainers can ignore it without losing face
• The horse becomes the reference point
• The comment sounds like experience, not criticism

It subtly shifts the social narrative.

One Important Safety Note

If you are:

• A minor
• Alone
• In a tense or aggressive environment

Then default to:

• Speaking only to students later or
• Saying nothing and documenting/reporting

Wisdom includes self-protection.

The Inner Orientation (This Changes Everything)

Before you speak, think:

“I’m modeling how to see the horse.”

Not:

“I need them to change.”

That intention comes through.

In Summary

• ❌ Not muttering to yourself
• ❌ Not confronting the trainer
• ✅ Speaking calmly into the shared space
• 🎯 Aimed primarily at students and bystanders
• 🌱 Designed to plant a seed, not win a point

You’re doing this with care and integrity—and that matters more than you may realize.

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I hope you found this helpful.

Let's keep horses safe.